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Sean McDowell, Pornography

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Sean McDowell, Pornography

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I'll write a good to have you back after lunch we got our final session together and we're to talk about the topic that I promised was coming to which is the topic of 1 things I love about my job is I get to travel I hate being away from home but I love meeting people in here and their stories I love get a chance to meet many of you today I met a young man a few years ago and I will never forget it story show pictures of kid at school popular great athlete College athlete found great student fun personality everything going for when the mission trips gets married to a girl beautiful inside and out after I graduated from the University about six months into their marriage she discovers that he was looking at wait a minute like he's got everything going for him he's got to be for wife why would he do that and of course she interpreted this like I'm not beautiful enough what's wrong with me especially since he was hiding it from her destroyed the trust in their relationship within a year they were divorced no he's experience God's Freedom he's moved on with his life and God's forgiveness Nerf he said he said don't stop talking to students please keep sharing with students cuz I would do anything to go back to myself in high school and shake me and say I heard this but would you please listen because God's design is for your good we're talking about an issue the many ways is the elephant in the room ironically enough when people don't even Define it means it actually 10 clicking from the Greek term meaning writings about prostitutes Grasse is writing that's how it started tensley Proxes any image sound that is meant to sexually arouse so certain art Mike to pick the human body but it's not meant to sexually arouse would not 10 flea be considered have you talked to your parents if you had these kind of conversations with them I would invite you to ask them we have these Converse pictures of our kids they mom and dad or Papa and Grammy how has the landscape of sexuality changed since you were a kid I had  change in one thing they'll probably tell you that  is much more. Savannah used to be their Circle time now two years ago and the author pet urine stains that producers have one goal to get men off hard and fast for profit that means Arata sizing the degradation of women behaviors in popular poor nearly 90% of 304 random seeds contain physical aggression towards women who nearly always respond earlier with pleasure in aqueous to begin to enjoy the activity regardless of how painful or debasing but how ironic this is we had this me to campaign over the past few years we're finally people unable to stand up and speak about abuse in particular how men have abused their buddy said that's wrong but then I look at  always find proxy I'm not going to judge where do you think men get the idea that it's okay to take advantage of women you seem important because that's a message for his second it's more acceptable where is become far more acceptable in your generation it wasn't question before so here's a study of fascinates me teens and young adults in your generation gen Z rank not recycling as more moral than viewing p*** know whether or not recycling actually works it's a separate issue what is the worst that I recycle than it is to look at p*** I thought your generation think it's more available talk to your parents that probably say if they wanted to get pouring they have to find somebody's parents stash in their garage or they have to go to a city part of town and asked for a copy now because of the internet and social me you don't even have to look for it it comes looking for you that one popular website has 2.4 million visitors every single hour and by the way that was before you know what's growing increase leader and covid-19 is 32244 out of 10 actively seek out for at least twice a month what did mr. Porter said she has two male issue but that's actually not true in one study 30% of corn is by women and this one study by Jen Z 13% of practicing females who actively seek out p*** one reason this is harder for girls is because our culture says well it's natural guys will do it anyways I'm not saying that's right I'm saying the message people give the girls to like I'm a Christian I'm not supposed to look at p*** I'm a girl I'm especially not supposed to and then they bury it down with shame and not talk about it Bridgeport it's not a male issue is not a female issue it's a human issue it's a human issue because of how available it is and the brief time we have in at the end we're going to aim to take a few questions again we're going to talk about briefly three big mess but you're probably tempted to believe about this and my goal is to shatter those myths and show you that there false before we jump in any frame this a little bit p*** is not the root of the problem corn is the fruit of the problem where does not the root of the problem tortoise the fruits of the problem meaning what do we talked about in our first to say God has designed you and me to be in healthy relationships with a friends who coaches with parents with teachers with siblings when those relationships are checking there's a vacuum in the human heart that will look for something to take its place corn is a relational substitute that says I'll make you feel good I'll make you feel better you don't have to hurt Joseph's in the Bible it says man is not good that man was alone before the entrance of sin y because she beans have been design for relationships if you don't have healthy relationships in your life and people that love you for who you are and know you then the LIE of p*** will be big deep and come in and try to take over your life at the root of it is broken relationships with God and with other people so here's a big mess it doesn't affect me doesn't affect me give her been tempted to think that you're difference it doesn't really affect me that friends may be other people but it doesn't affect me in my classroom I tell my students I'll say honestly we can talk about anything as long as you respect for you wanted the truth and we bring it back to scripture so my high school classroom we were talking about issues in the top of the proxy came up we discussed and I could tell the students in the back was getting bothered by the second seat with his body reaction losers lunch time he came up to me goes dr. Alchemy talk has like no it's my lunch break and not kidding I'm kidding I didn't think of course step in my office which is a desk in the middle of my classroom he sat down was like what's going on Macho kid for sitting and put his head in his arms like this engine starts to cry because I don't know to do for months at night after my light off my parents think I'm going to sleep pull up my computer laptop phone I just looking for 4 hours and I can't stop at the first off thanks for telling me just telling somebody is getting this off your chest and it's the first step to Healing is that I love you and I'm with you no matter what it's a bit stuck in the Mesa question how does looking at p*** affect you Ethan abroad I feel guilty all the time okay obviously a second he said I can't look at a woman the same disease images from p*** are locked in my brain and I can't look at a woman without  her in a mind it doesn't affect me it doesn't affect me 71% Swedish adolescents belief influence behavior their peers but only 29% believed it influence them isn't that interesting tell the police is a journalist she wrote that she's not a Christian far as I know she said a single 20-something graphic designer told me he'd find himself and bars parade himself for the way he scan potential dates because you looked at p*** I be saying no her breasts are too small she's not worth it then wondering who Am I who am I become why am I judging women like this he's judging women like that because he's looked at p*** and it shaped the way he views women it doesn't affect me Gerry Brooks is a professor at Texas A&M he said the problem with softcore  which is basically images of  and none of the violent sexual acts in more   is it a problem software proxy this is prism it teaches men view women by the way it's not just meant if you women it goes women if you manage set her up but that's what he said that if you wanted as objects rather than being relationships with women is human being born does if you look at graffiti you condition yourself to look at human beings as objects you use rather than people you love they got some said we're supposed to love people and use are we love money and we use people you look at  whether you intend this or not you are conditioning yourself reduce human beings two objects on a screen that you use for your pleasure rather than to see human beings as made in the image of God who are loved it doesn't affect me John Paul II former Catholic pope he said the problem with  is not that it shows too much at that it shows too little you might not have heard me right there probably  is not the just too much if it shows too little and then wait a minute seems like the problem of Photography shows too much people take their clothes off it's showing too much that's not my point the problem with is it reduces the act just to the fish call it divorce is it from commitment it divorce is it from a relationship it divorced the emotional side and the spiritual side of sexuality so the problem is it takes this beautiful acting how to design between a man and a woman to not only make babies but bring unity and it reduces it just purely to the physical pleasure side the problem is that show too much it just shows to little you reduce  down to that it becomes another commodity like flipping through videos on Tik Tok that you just used for your instant pleasure and then move it doesn't affect me if you look at  it teaches you not to love people but to use people maybe there's another way that would make the sink in you guys care about football in this town I'm kidding it's like the biggest building in your entire town with ammo money is football I'm not judging I just driving I'm like holy cow we are definitely in Texas for a number of reasons no I want to see what I do here before I come back to football think of something we call a script a script an idea in your mind about how you behave in a certain setting you have a script example you have a script how you behave in a classroom and that's different than a script and how you behave in the library there's a script of what you do in the library there's also scripted you doing an elevator if you ever noticed like when you get an elevator their spacing issues don't go like stand next to somebody and now they're Nobody Does that don't like stand and look at the person you're really not supposed to talk in an elevator there's this trip that we learn about how to behave in an elevator that different from say here or different in a football game right there's a script about how you behave at a football game at $5 the person next to you and peanuts and soda nachos might come back to you ref makes a bad call boom your team wins cheer like you have different scripts about how you behave in different settings the question is where do you learn these Scripts what do you learn how to behave in different settings I doubt anybody you down to send out when we go to the football game here is how you behave and here's how you don't be ignoring how to tell you that you just looked out and figure it out don't know how to tell you how to behave an elevator if you're remotely observing you kind of figure out things you do and things you don't do we'll use the question where's have you learned your script about where have you learned what to expect where have you learned how to treat people I can't speak for you individually but I know your generation for sure has taken its script not from scripture but from p*** if p*** prevents presents an accurate faulty harmful if you have  and you expect that when you get into a marriage you're not only going to hurt your spouse you're going to damage it destroy that relationship the question is what is the script of you can skip the point is the point is that  is best experienced outside of a loving relationship look horn is not about married couple staying faithful to each other by definition it means writings about what writings about prostitutes by definition of prostitute is a one-night stand there's no commitment pronography gives the message that the most exciting  is bite of a commitment it's spontaneous it's with somebody you don't even know that's exciting this is a strip that p*** GIFs is that a Biblical script what is that even true I submit you it's not dealership the  that all women want  from men basically ladies you are reduced to a sexual being and you just want a man that you can have  with talk about a debasing view of women 3rd is actually women like all sexual acts performatrin and women are basically there to respond to whatever a man desires and demands and if she says no At first she could be persuaded with a little Force this is what  teaches and it mocks the Biblical teaching Hebrews 13:4 says keep the marriage bed pure is to be honored by all undermines and mocks. Design for marriage you see how foolish it is to say it doesn't affect me it teaches a script about that's affected by the way there's a huge study you can look it up and if you want to online these for researchers gather all different research together and said how does p*** affect young people and they said young people who look at p*** here the effects is it more likely to be distracted by thoughts of  have more permissive sexual attitudes believe men should be dominant over women accept the notion casual  engage in sexual behavior engagement sexual harassment be sexually aggressive have insecurities about their sexual ability Express insecurities about their body image and have clinical symptoms of depression it doesn't affect me that's a myth say when they be first off with later the story open with my friend goes off when I get mad do you have the real thing I'll quit I think the best way I actually look at this is to look at the brain in the body is very revealing about this so doctor Joe mcelhaney he says the human brain is without in the most complicated 3lb mass in the universe and I don't mean this brain just for the record you actually have more neurons connecting to your brain that all the Internet connect in the world the brain is the most sophisticated complex system in the universe now a generation ago people used to think that your brain was like fully formed by your adolescent like 12 13 14 years old it was 4 minute became like fixed for life but we now actually know that the brain isn't really fully formed until your upper twenties and it's still moldable and adaptable through life you can mold and adapt your brain do the choices you choose to make so let's unpack this you have in the brain was called neurons the main cells yes support cells to get her waist and they strengthen you also something called synapses now here's a phrase I want you to write this down or remember this week I have to write stuff down I have a photographic memory I don't have any film you can get that  somebody over 30 neuroscientist have a phrase will say that neurons that fire together wire together neurons that fire together wire together another words as you make a behavior neurons fire with it as continue that behavior those neurons form patterns that get locked into your brain so an example my brother-in-law actually took this picture of these monkey type beans when we were in Tanzania on a safari like a dozen years ago and I learned in about monkeys that if you take their fingers and you saw them together I know what you're thinking what kind of sick person do that to Mikey look I would never do that to Monkey I do it to a cat but I'm just kidding I'm kidding don't hurt animals I get arrested in California for saying that for the record maybe who knows give it two more months actually what scientist done is that they've taken monkeys and they taped their fingers together for an now why would they do that because in terms of their body structure monkeys are very similar to human beings that have individual digits and you have different Pathways in your body to control your individual fingers they take Ford F1 tie these two fingers together what happens is the separate Pathways fuse into one so they leave it there and untie it what happens when the monkey goes to move either one they now move both of them together because the neuronal pathways to have fused into one you see the body is moldable and adaptable to the choices of behavior that we make them leave another campus think of it kind of like a pathway in the forest if there's a forest and nobody's walk to there First Wok this range of different places you could go but if you walk somewhere you knock down the brush what if you attend * 400 * eventually have a pathway that you naturally operate down without even thinking about if you're in the forest you just walk along a without giving it a second thought this is how behaviors become habits wired into our brains one more way this might help them guys you will definitely want to write this down okay in the middle age that's something called love apples May idea was what a man a lover with separated from his beloved they couldn't text they couldn't post something on Instagram or SnapChat or do a Tik Tok video they couldn't even go the extra mile pick up the phone and call he gone from each other for months months so someone got the idea that the woman would take a slice of an apple put in your armpits let it soak up her scent for hours on end and then she give it your lover and when he was gone in mr. he could pull it out smell it and it's like she was there I noticed all of you stop taking notes except for a few Junior highers in the back because you think that's what disgusting and nasty right why because in our culture from the moment we're born we're kind of condition to resist body you take a shower exclamation again hopefully you take a shower put on deodorant get a little Axe spray or swag throw it on try to smell good no not every culture play don't believe me just go to France the ironic thing is if you were going back in the Middle Ages because you're born in a culture that doesn't push away body odor your body reforms in a certain way that actually finds it not only not unattractive but appealing much of our brains are wired based upon the environment that were in that's why some people like certain foods and don't Heather's our brains are fully formed till r420s but they're moldable adaptable through life know why this is better cuz if you look at  your brain become sexually your brain becomes train to sexually Q2 a computer or a tablet or smartphone you actually physically condition the structure of your brain to look at the kind of images that come up on a screen that's why with the rise of prography we've also had the rise of Viagra and had male impotence why because a lot of guys and a Time Magazine on born 5 years ago talked about this they said there's so many guys to look at p*** their wiring their brains look at images that they can't even reach her sexual High when there with a woman in person cuz they so deeply condition their brain it does affect me I'll quit later we keep going there's another part of the brain there were to call neurochemicals now neurochemicals are responsible for sending messages throughout the body to different parts of the body one chemical in both men and women you're familiar with is called dopamine if they reward chemical that makes you feel good when you take a risk so I've ever gone on like a rollercoaster how do you feel skip ahead this natural high the feels good if you ever gone like skydiving I'm sure you have a ton of dopamine hitting actually if you exercise and workout people get a runner's high it's like a natural reward to your body for deserting pressure which is nice cuz if not nobody workout God has designed the body that we would take certain risk and exert ourselves physically there's a chemical reward that comes you know what drugs do drugs Short Circuit natural process and send messages to the brain tied to certain neurotransmitters to get an instant high in a way that's meant to be achieved in a different fashion switch B does this is what cocaine does it actually uses the natural chemicals in your body to give you an instant High no don't get too high in a drug and they want to hide the next time what do they have to do what have to do take more or harder drug its quantity the exact same chemicals in your body that are tied to getting hives from certain drugs are the same chemicals released when somebody looks at and you see why it's so addictive but interesting Lee enough if somebody looked at  if they want the same high it's not more it's not bigger quantity you know what it is it's a variety somebody looks at  then look at  and then oral and then keep going down. Road I'm not even going to describe to get the same high requires more and more variety friends if you say oh doesn't affect me quit later you don't understand the way the brain works it's not that simple cuz we rewire our brain another chemical I mentioned this earlier when we talked about Genesis chapter 2 system father mother binds with bow and it's bound with his wife remembering that they get older sis great spiritual binding that I started to study certain chemicals like oxytocin you realize that they're in a man and woman but most strongest in a woman and actually released three times I nearly everyone when a woman gives birth which is painful so they say my life was first given birth and I thought my job was to like lighten the mood and be funny I got the death stare that was like shut up you are not funny and I learnt but when a woman has given birth her body's been slept with oxytocin increase this desire to just connect with a child that's why I'm the child born will bring it out and they'll just put it right here in the bond with it when a woman is nursing there's this physical Bond oxytocin is being flooded in the body that creates unity and the third is in sexual touch that does not even sexual touch its sexual gay if you sometimes just look into somebody's eyes lovingly and focus on them chemicals are released that create this desire for trust to see what happens when somebody looks at  are there sexually active God has designed this for there to be a unity and a closeness and a bonding but  doesn't allow that so you damage the bonding mechanism that God has put inside I have a friend who sleeps at a time I ask him what time is a cute saying to me I'm curious you sleep with all these girls you think you're going to get married and magically stop being promiscuous how are you all the sudden going to sleep with a bunch of girls look at p*** and then be faithful to moment for life can you explain to me how this is going to happen if you why your brain one way it's not just like flipping a switch no and then it in mentos by the way of showing jnc1224 watch this closely boom got any idea how long that took me Boom the two shall become one in Mandy oxytocin Quizlet is something we called vasopressin vasopressin some of call the monogamy molecule and there's some scientific today not this the ideas that it's a chemical that's released it creates a kind of bonding between a man in between his wife now it's interesting as you look in nature most animals in nature are not monogamous they don't like pair up and stay faithful to each other except for this animal call the Prairie vole interesting me enough they will partner up and I can't remember 97% of the time this malevolent is female vocal will partner up and I like faithful to each other for life and present for the kids like Prevost at unique and what they found is high amounts of vasopressin inside of the pro Bowls did it started like what if we block the release of vasopressin send will it change the behavior these balls but they found these brave souls who are normally 90% + faithful to their female Vol spouse you block vasopressin and these little hamsters start sleeping around I kind of messed up right now I'm saying I'm partly kidding because they're animals but it shows the power of these chemicals that God has put inside of us it's kind of like saying if you take tape what happens if you put tape on you rip it off once it hurts but what if you take it a second time after time what is it do it loses its stickiness God has put chemicals inside of us there when you leave your father and mother and find whisper lying to spouse if you get married your meant to bond to that person for life let me ignore God's design it doesn't destroy there's always forgiveness there's always Redemption damage is the bonding mechanism that God has put inside of us you see how foolish it is to say it won't affect me I'll quit later it doesn't work that way last want to hear is I'm not hurting anyone I'm not hurting anybody yo yesterday on my Instagram story I put a quick post you could scroll through said three myths about the last one is on not hurting anyone the guy common in there he said I'm not hurting anyone that's a big I was shown p*** when I was five and I'm still suffering from it today I hear that all the time you know there's more people in slavery today if you include sexual try biking did it any point in human history you know what drives a lot of that corn use these people can only look at it so long before they act it out every single time you click on a p*** video are you click on a porm image whether you intend to or not you are voting with your time and your phone yes to increased demand for that product how do you think p*** makers get money people advertise on their site why do people advertise on their site because they get clicks you look at it you are contributing to the money and the production of I don't have time to talk about how p*** hurts pornstars give me stories of former pornstars will talk about how they were abused and they were mocked and the pain to their body they get affected kids get affected children gets affected marriages get effect did the say the p*** dozen anybody is a colossal lie am I point where to take questions in just a minute my point is not to like come here in like make you feel bad and shame you that is not my point but I also know that people often time don't stop looking at  until they get shaken up a little bit and realize it's a big deal I'm right here to be the moral police I'm here Shamy make you feel bad I meant to tell you this stuff matters and I care about you and your teachers care your parents care about you and if you open up the door to this in your life you are giving a foothold for Satan to wreck your marriage and your life in profound powerful know this before we take questions we talked about a lot of stuff they were Tamagotchis I in for  is probably some of you that I club that feels too late to me to talk about the lgbtq issue they're very well probably are some here who took 3 degrees have wrestled with that we talked about  chances are there's quite a few of you who wrestled with this is my final message to you are you ready God loves you I had a girl email into me and to my website email me and she said I know what to do I'm I'm hooked on p*** what do I do now I don't get an email exchanges with girls for a range of so I copied a friend of mine former student who's the woman who helped counsel girls to email into me I copied her and I said I'm going to turn you over to my friend who will help you I just want to know one thing God love you 3 years later I got an email from her she said that email wrecked me I didn't think that God could love me given the choices that I made a mistake that I made I didn't think I was lovable she said for some reason that email told me deep in my soul that God loves me I don't have to earn his favor and I haven't looked p*** sets what Satan wants to do is accuse you he's the accuser you go to Christian School your leader during upperclassmen you look at p*** shame on you if people knew this about you they would never look at you the same that is a Lie from the pit of the Bible says God separates our sins as far as the East is from the West you know why it says Easton West it doesn't say North and South go North to cover the planet you're going south you go east you are eternally going nice Bible says if you confess your sins God is faithful and just and will forgive you and will restore you my encouragement to you is this I'm not going to make you stand and do an altar call I'm not going to do that the school cuz I know sometimes those can be emotional responses and things don't change my Christmas to you we talked a lot today about God's design for sexuality and that God is good can any of these areas you feel like you have fallen short and you want to know and experience God's best for you I'm actually I changed my mind here's what I'm going to do literally just changed my mind here's what I'm going to ask you do we talked about a lot of stuff today a range of issues and I can tell you I don't get to stand up here because I've lived a perfect life I am well aware of my mistakes and my shortcomings and my failures I will own that I'm not going to ask you for any specifics but if you've heard what was shared today and realize you know what's on any of these issues. I just want your forgiveness and I want to do better moving I'm going to ask you to stand right where you're at front of your peers no one's going to press you into hey is it this topic is it that topic you are a man of Courage good for you you are two thank you for standing up imma give you a moment I'm not going to pressure I'm not going to shame anybody into it and nobody can walk around go hey you stood tell me your story that is not your place I heard something today so you know what God I need your forgiveness I understand you're good and I want to live the way you want me to live and I need to know and experience I forgiven thank you for attending I'm going to ask you to stand there is zero Judgment of somebody who doesn't stand that is not the point of this there's anybody here he want to take the step stand up it takes a lot of courage to do this and say you know it going to be a leader and make a difference but I want to know you are forgiven this in my life you just another moment I'm not going to drag this out to stand up I see a few of you here's what the rest of you you response Jack owoc identogo hey you stood what's your issue don't even think about doing that if you say anything it's just hey you stood that's awesome I love you and I stand with you that's awesome that is cool encouragement is what we do if your close friend of those Danny Thomas Island say I love you is there anything I can do to help you through this let's work through this together how many pregnant with time for maybe one or two questions if we're able to all right just for those who stay in father I thank you for the young people stood I know what it means to stand up in front of peers and other people I know the cost that can take God I pray you let them for their courage for you blast them will yeast come forward and just Infuse them with your grace and your love so they know that you have set them free if there's anybody doesn't stand for whatever reason I pray that you just infused them with your love and help them know that you bring real freedom in love and care for them got a prayer blessing on the school and praising your name amen you guys can be seated we have time for maybe one or two more and you tell me when we got to wrap up some you didn't get a chance to ask. directions earlier let's go to start with if somebody hasn't had a chance to ask a question would be ideal I'm glad I see your hand is that your hand right there is masturbation a sin that's a great question so let me frame this in a couple ways by the way I did it I did a short video on this recently Chris things are divided on this topic and here's why one thing we know for sure is that in Matthew Chapter 5 and in the sermon amount was goes through 7 Jesus says not to lust after a woman rust is out for men and four women so if masturbation involves lust it necessarily would be outside of God's design for merit for if your body etcetera so I think all Christians would agree looking at  somehow lessina  would not be God's design now some Christians will differ and say things like well what if I'm not lusting and it's just a bar early action is it feels good I can do without lusting some people will say oh that's fine cuz they're not lust other Christians will have some reservations I have some reservations and here's why because I don't know that I fully like this term but masturbation innocence is kind of having  with yourself God has designed to be with another person a man and a woman together when you sexually satisfy yourself you're conditioning yourself to have sexual release or sexual contact without a human being there which is what God's design for sexuality is so even if there weren't lust I think it very easily becomes habitual and becomes controlling and condition somebody to have some Outlet without another human being that it's their mama say when it comes I realize there's so much  today that how you don't just say oh I'm just not going to  anymore like this is a really difficult issue I understand that but I would put this in your mind if you can't through Grace and through relationship and accountability cultivate some self-control before you're married you won't wake up and magically self-control when you get married so my encouragement again is through Grace do boundaries and what you watching what you do through sharing with somebody being wise in your life not engaging in masturbation for the moral reason and for the Practical reason that we my encouragement now a married couple is a separate issue I'm assuming the principal I don't have an issue with it if it's man to win together or not that would be my basic answer. I appreciate you asking that cuz that's kind of elephant the room there's a lot of people that we're probably one in the same thing good for you ozone so is there a light like two people just like start looking at Corners there like a specific reason that they start like do they see something that's really good question from studies I've seen people I've talked to the vast majority youngboy who first ceporn are not actually looking for it but p*** is looking for them support makers basically are saying how do I hook people as young as possible to eventually get their money see you search for Pokemon and misspelled it p*** site might come up this is actually what p*** makers do their thinking what are you searching how are you searching it I don't like get you out of curiosity to come onto website 1 reasons a lot of people that first see it accidentally there's a lot of people that see it I mean $0.01 but God has made us with strong sexual desires so it's natural to be curious sexual attraction is good I mean. I could have said like a guy and a girl pinky swear to keep Hawks out like he's got he could have done that he gave us strong attractions for reason but the problem is is that  is a pseudo false outlet that gives lies rather than God's design for sexuality so I think there could be a range of reasons action of one young man at a Christian School in Texas not here and he was so pressured into his parents caught him in June by looking at p*** and they're upset until they found out why he said all my friends make fun of me because I don't look at it so I looked at it so they finally leave me alone if you do that at the end of your friends here shame on you there's a lot of reasons kids will look at p*** we have time for maybe one more this is back to the lgbtq topic if one of your friends like a guy friends comes up to you and said that they liked you what would your initial reaction what if a guy friend came up and said I like you I want to make sure your best friend came up to you and he's a guy he told you you like to your initials I think I would say little different when I'm 44 thinking about my friends to be honest with you like here's my think I would I would say I'd say thanks for sharing that with me like honestly I'm dead serious I wouldn't shame the person I just say you know what thanks for telling me that I can imagine you took a risk and tell me that you liked me. girl telling someone you like them you're making yourself somewhat vulnerable and you can be easily mocked by some and I say you know what thanks for telling me like before we go down that road like tell me your story because I didn't see this coming this surprises me you're my best friend and you're tell me you like me in a different way than I understood our relationship let's take a step back and tell me your story cuz I want to be friends with you I'll be honestly I'm not I'm not interested in that kind of relation if I want to be honest with you upfront that relationship does not interest me I want to be your friend and I can imagine the fact that you told me this there's a lot going through your heart and your mind how can I be a friend to you tell me storing let's talk about it and then I probably add some points to hey let's go to a teacher let's go to a parent let's go to youth pastor and let's begin to talk through what this means so anytime somebody share something since it was me I want to shame somebody I want to let him know that I'm safe I want to let him know that I love them and that this isn't going to end our relationship but if I'm 13 or 15 years old and somewhat since I like may also want to say I'm here for you I'm a friend let's go talk to him. you get so much done but I just want you to know that gosh thanks for telling me this. I'm not interested in that kind of relationship but I sure hope you know you telling me this it doesn't change that we can be friends that's what I would say at 44 if my best friend told me that I don't have a clue what I I would be so shocked because if I don't know the answer very quickly as we wrap up if this is helpful just a couple things about oops license not showing up doesn't this Pokey throughout the slides for me imma throw this real fast this is my website I know you guys don't necessarily go to websites but I actually I have YouTube channel weekly interview on these topics of interview people on the topic of transgender and gay people on same- relationship stuff outside of sexuality you might find helpful on the scriptures have a app cast actually this weekly Derby Darryl Strawberry who's one of greatest baseball players of all time sharing his story face if you ever listen to a podcast weekly like 30 minutes and it's worldview relationships all sorts of topics that's a Blog you probably read or care about everything I talked about today is from the book Chasing love so I didn't bring any copies but essentially that book is I've been married 20 years and I have three teenagers in my home if I could sit down and write a letter to my kids were to use a dad that's what I would write so almost all the stories and all the examples I shared her in there if you want to go back and think about it and rested with it further or you'll find it in their virtually everything we talked about and then his text you down the bottom I won't pull up right now but yeah I'm on Facebook Twitter Instagram and Tik Tok I'm actually on Tik Tok and I know that raises a bunch of crazy issues I just confronted my son is a shoe reseller he's got I think it was has like seventy thousand followers he's like a reseller on Tik Tok that's where I got the Jordans from hook me up so I do fun stuff and my kids but a lot of my videos are just quick 1 min answers to the toughest questions that students asked me so this week I explained with car keys when somebody says my body my choice why that's a bad arguments you can't do do you want to with your car you can't drive on the sidewalk you can't drive in my living room he can't drive on the opposite side of the streets your rights your car limited when you're going to harm somebody else I did quick to Quik Tik Tok video make sure their body shop right your body but in your harm somebody else you're limited if The Unborn is human being you can't morally take its life so if your on Tik Tok and you want to connect further I'm on there that be a lot of fun if you comment erase questions good chance I'll try to all right that's it take it away thanks for adding me today it was a lot of fun

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